the longest joel post

Ok lads and ladies, (warning spelling and grammer and punctuation errors ahead)

IT'S POSTIN' TIME. YEEHAW. What can i say... i left the hills but i still a hill billy deep down.

I am feeling fat. What you think about that? Pooooorrr unsuccessful and fat. (tribute nick) That's a comedy song just so you guys know.

Honestly i dunno i've never had a good body image i know. what can you do? it's hard to work with that you are given at times. I am doing really good with what i have but i'll never be small waisted and tall. I gotta give up dreaming. As i tell many people i am not leading man pretty or attractive. Supporting actor maybe? sure why not.

Theory= ok now i guess. ear training= awful i can hear and dupilcate, no problem. i know when i am off key very easily. But rythmic /melodic dictation i just can't do it yet. ahh sweet moronic joel. Well i have to say we have our shit and it's to deal with. THat makes little sense but i like it.

Why is it i feel i am supposed to be something great but i reach mediocity? i was happy...ish with my midterm marks 75.5 in dance so far. (-B) and B in vocal. Who i mannaged that i dunno.

I don't know how to play a 70 year old preist with no legs... my scene with wayne i have one liners and that's not hard to memorize as long as the line before me is correct. i am just curious if i am helping wayne enough and the right way so he can get his lines down... i dunno i am bad teacher. He's got the bulk of the scene on his shoulders...*looks contimplaively*

I just want a challenge and i want tim to tell me i suck give me a ton or tonne to work on. i want to be pushed. Am i being pushed am i doing good work? people say it's good... but it's not Fucking awesome. Tim says it'll be good or it's good to everything i show him but does that equate to me succeeding? Does that mean he's happy? does that mean i have nothing to work on or i am just not ready to be fucking awesome and never will? what does it mean? anyone?

i'm really going on a weird rant tonight arn't i?

I get to sing don't fence me in for juries. I am excited like the song
I need to know what the dance jury piece is i want to work on it.

i need to work for movement class. I will tomorrow night and sunday. Earth is my element i think

I honestly think about what people think of me, and do they say things about me? i know i shouldn't care but honestly folks i am not always happy sunshine. I am a Scared paranoid lil nothing that just over thinks a tonne of crap. Part of my brain says to me " you can slice a man in two with a sword and not care... but i'd never be able to hurt a animal. Is it wrong to value a cat over a human life? in the case of you VS him sure i guess.... this is getting creepy.

New topic. Is this the longest post i ever wrote or what?

I was reading Jason's blog and he mentioned the fact that most of the 1 st years are very messy. i just wanted to say at this time i agree and think it's gross. i personally try to stay very clean. But that's cuz i am a kitchen/food nazi.


1/2 the year almost over. Jingle bell time ect. i wanat build stuff.

anyhoo bed probibly soon.

Joel